“The world isn't beautiful, therefore it is.”
- Kino no Tabi

[REVIEW CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS, BE WARNED]

Initially, I thought Nozoki Ana was utter bullshit. I mean, why does Emiru like to peep? What was her motives? And why is the guy a total wuss time after time? These were the questions that perplexed me as I went along breezing through each chapter. And during Madoka's Arc, I had finally understood. It was all because they wanted "true" human connection, In Emiru's perspective, she had wanted to look at the true nature of Kido. What was the mask behind that pure, blissful smile? She has been entranced by Kido's sense of morality that she became obsessed with him. After all, she had nothing to lose at that point. She only had a true, but fragile, connection with Kido at that time. On Kido's perspective, he was just like me; why the fuck does this girl want to peek? What was her goal? And at that end,  謎を解くだ。 Mystery solved. Finally, we are shown Emiru's past. And boy was it a trainwreck.



Ignorance is bliss, and in Emiru's case, her knowledge was what made her feel despair. She had been questioning the genuineness of her relationship with the people around her. She was showing a mask in front of other people, not actually giving a fuck who they truly are. Which consequently turns into a fuckfest of people not actually giving a fuck about her identity. This barrier was tearing her apart, especially since her brother has made an expectation to her; to be the closest sibling in the planet. This expectation has led them both to do everything in their power to help the other person in their own point of views. For her brother, being the best so that her mother gets lenient. For Emiru, it was being a loving and cheerful younger sister for her brother. But this was all not for the sake of the other person, it was a greedy kind of love. It was really in fact to satisfy other people's perceived needs. They did not truly communicate on what each other truly felt and wanted. This is what happens all the time -- in love, in families, in relationships, and even in day to day life. We assume that goodwill is done in respect to the other person but really it is something out of necessity or duty. It is this inspection of the difference between doing it just for the sake of appearance and knowing wholeheartedly what the person wants is the vital aspect of how people can learn who they truly am. It is the combination of both the beautiful and the ugly is when we learn to accept ourselves, and therefore becoming more beautiful in the process. The world isn't beautiful, therefore it is.

Nozoki Ana is by far, one of the most philosophically orgasmic manga I have read. Of course, it is by no means perfect. There are a lot of questionable things, but the good have outweighed the bad that gave me a whole lot to think about.